Tuesday, January 24, 2017

sleep tips.

the sunset view from our bedroom window, over the water tanki have a confession to make, baby ag, he's a pretty good sleeper... and by good sleeper i mean, he wakes every 3-4 hours for a feed. unless he doesn't... sometimes it's more often, sometimes less. just like a baby he he.
that hasn't stopped me not getting decent amounts of sleep though... oh no. there has been many a time when i just could. not. get. to. sleep.
infuriating!

i've tried and tested many a solution though, and these are what have worked for me. fingers crossed they might bring you some relief too!

mindset - the more frustrated i got with myself for not getting to sleep, the harder it was to actually get to sleep. my mantra was 'i am resting' no matter how sleep deprived i was, and how much i desperately wanted to get to sleep, even resting, lying there with my eyes shut was better than faffing about folding washing and such.
this didn't necessarily stop my mind from racing though, worrying about every. single. little. thing. the thoughts i had in these sleepless moments were RIDICULOUS!

enter meditation - running through some mindfulness exercises while i was lying there resting definitely helped quiet my mind down. sometimes. sometimes it didn't, but whatever happened, i was resting. much better for me than housework.

keeping warm - i realised after a few sleepless nights, i was waking myself up completely whenever i would get up to feed ag because i would allow myself to cool down so much. my neck and shoulders were exposed in the maternity singlets i was wearing and my bare feet were freezing on our painted concrete floors. cardigans and knitted socks were my saviours, keeping me toasty while i was up and about and allowing me to settle back into sleep a little easier once ag was fed and asleep again.

keep off the screens - sometimes, i'll conk out to sleep watching something on tv or my laptop, when i'm tired. when my brain wants to be awake though, when it's racing and it's 3am, the moving pictures and sounds will do nothing but stimulate me! even looking at my phone will generally send me down a rabbit hole of reading things i don't need to, most likely adding to the worries i'm feeling rather than alleviating them.
the only exception i give myself to this is if i'm going to listen to a meditation track on my phone, or listen to some white noise if there's a noise that's bugging me.

brain dump - if there was something my mind just WOULDN'T let go of, i would write it down and then action it the next day. it might've been to send a message to someone about something specific, or something i was curious about and wanted to google, even something i'd just remembered we needed to grab next time we were grocery shopping. whatever it was, it could wait, i needed to be resting.

trust in your partner - this was probably the one that was the hardest for me to reconcile... and the most ridiculous. bb is such a great dad, and me second guessing his decisions when it came to ag was silly. he's way better at settling ag than i ever will be, because there's only so much milk the boy can drink, even when it's all that he wants just because he can smell it on me! and his patience with ag when he's really upset, well it's second to none. the heartbreaking cries, the ones i'm physiologically unable to ignore, that fill my eyes with tears, well bb can deal with them a whooooole lot better than me! thusly so, when bb is on duty, i shut the door or i put headphones in if i need to, to get the time to myself that i might be in desperate need of.

ok, so this might be a bit of a rambly little list, but it's what helped me get through those first few tough months of new motherhood... hopefully it might help someone else too!

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

stash diving.

one of my 2017 goals, is to knit through my stash of sock yarn.
over the weekend just gone, i thought i'd better dig it all out of my stash, currently housed in the bottom layer of my fancy secondhand ikea trolley, to get a handle on just what i'd set myself up for for the year...

a collection of yarns to be knit into socks, in assorted colours and fibre compositions

um, well that'd be seven pairs of socks just there! i most certainly have my work cut out for me!
particularly when this isn't taking into account...

leftover bits and pieces from previous projects, not quite enough to make pairs... or is there?

all of the leftover bits and bobs from other projects! not quite enough to make a pair of socks by themselves... but together, they're sure to make some splendid scrappy, stripy socks. and no doubt more than just one pair!

i think this lot will have me well and truly set up for knitting for the ENTIRE year! a strange feeling, knowing i really don't need to buy any yarn... though truth be told, it would seem that i haven't NEEDED to buy any for a while. this is only the fingering-weight sock yarns, you'd better believe there's quite a few other areas to my stash. oh my!

a pair a month, not too much to ask right?

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

around here.

cushion made from a freefoem patchwork panel featuring snippets of hand printed fabrics cushion made with ink and spindle fabric panel featuring navy blue kangaroo paws screen printed onto an oatmeal coloured linen a pair of buttons holding the above patchwork cushion closed. the right one featuring an imprint of a feather matching a feather motif in the patchwork small bowl of blueberries, strawberries and raspberries book stack of 'simplicious' by sarah wilson, lunchlady magazine issue 5, 'grown and gathered' by matt and lentil, 'down to earth' and 'the simple home' by rhonda hetzel a pair of vanilla socks, knitted for my husband using the two-at-a-time method using circus tonic handmade yarn in colourway 'magpie lark'

current happenings...

i hit up one of the many vintage bazaars in town yesterday with my mother in law and picked up some much needed summer-y and breastfeeding friendly pre-loved clothes. including this beautiful french chiffon number. i'm in love!

the reading pile beside the bed doesn't seem to be getting any smaller, but certainly has a theme... simple living and food abounds!

a wee bit of sewing has been happening... some cushion covers that i had been meaning to make, for oh, close to an eternity have FINALLY come to fruition! the patchwork one was put together at the craft sessions circa 2013, and the ink and spindle piece was from then too i think. both were backed with some calico i had in my stash (some perhaps bought for this purpose, or maybe leftover from the wedding bags? and one piece was actually used as wrapping for a christmas gift i received the year before last) and finished with buttons from my button box. the button on the right worked perfectly with my patchwork cover, with an imprinted leaf, very similar to the one i block-printed and used as my starting piece.
the perfect stash busting project!

there's also been a little bit of picking for breakfasts from the garden... i got fed up with sharing the blueberries with the birds (and by sharing i mean, never getting any) and netted the living daylights out of the bush. while i was at it, the strawberry plants next door got a covering too and i've been enjoying the spoils for breakfast every few days for the last week or so. and the raspberries, well *touches all the wooden surfaces* the birds haven't cottoned onto their location yet... so nice to know EXACTLY where my berries are coming from!

and a fair bit of progress has been made on these socks for bb. the heels are both turned and i feel like i'm on the homestretch! i'm getting a wee bit weary with them, but i'm also grateful for the slow and simple nature of them. i always know what i'm doing when i pick them up!

and that about sums it up... well there's the normal life stuff too, catching up with friends, eating, sleeping, keeping the house looking nice and ALL of the baby goings on, snuggles and crying and giggles and dirty nappies.
it's a happy, messy and tiring time he he.

ps. i'm hoping to make tuesday my blogging day every week. check back next tuesday and every following tuesday for different bits and pieces; greenery updates, crafting, probably baby toes every now and again, and maybe, when i'm feeling brave enough, a birth story...

Sunday, January 1, 2017

2017.

last night, the sun set on 2016 and this morning rose on 2017. it wasn't a great nights sleep for me and i woke up feeling tetchy and annoyed... the last time the baby woke, i wasn't able to lull myself back into sleep. rather than getting more annoyed, that i was missing out on precious sleep time, i took the opportunity to catch up on the backlog of blog posts that are sitting in my reader.
oh, and now, i'm using the time to tap out this wee post! with a cup of tea beside me of course.

deluxe dinner of slow roasted pork belly and fennel, mashed potato and homegrown rainbow chard cane basket full of freshly picked home grown garlic knitting at our beautiful local pub while one of my talented brothers-in-law strummed some tunes chubby baby legs of ag on my lap

what a big and crazy year 2016 was for bb and i! we brought in the new year knowing that there was a (very) little life growing inside of me and that knowledge and the reality of it shaped and changed our year in ways we never would have imagined even just a few weeks before.

we made a tree change before little ag came along, moving back in with my folks on their acreage to help us keep our living costs down when bb decided to take the year off from work. having that time off has done wonders for his mental health, and the health of our relationship too. living in such close proximity to one another, we've gotten to know one another even better, something i thought we were pretty much on top of after 11 years together!
and then there was ag's arrival! what a big, huge, crazy and awesome change that has been. i feel like a whole new person almost... something i'm definitely still coming to terms with.
bb has been so excellent with ag, such a fantastic dad, with a level of patience that i surely don't have. i've enthused to him over and over again, just how grateful i am that we are doing this together, that he's not had to head back to work and we get to do all of this baby stuff together. it's truly amazing.


now if you know me, you'll know that my brain is absolutely whirring with the possibility of the new year, all the plans that i could make and being that i love a list... well, i can't resist!

so without further ado, a few plans for 2017

* knit through my stash of sock wool - i'd reckon there's enough for half a dozen pairs and thankfully socks are the ultimate portable project. very easy to stash a project bag with a pair in the nappy bag! need to finish these ones up first though!

* enjoy the flux that comes with an odd living space and a baby - i'm a bit of a control freak, and like things to be how they SHOULD be so no doubt this will continue to challenge me... but i'm enjoying the freedom to move things around and make this space our own, and will continue to declutter and reorganise as we go.

* strive for simplicity - my favourite reads for last year were rhonda hetzel's books on simple living. and i thoroughly enjoyed listening to the slow home podcast too. very much hoping to make little small, slow changes to get us on the path to simpler living with a focus on family time and doing what will be best for us.

*make time for myself - i'm already realising this mum caper can be a little all encompassing, even with both of us home, and grandparents within shouting distance. i need to constantly remind myself that they're all capable, and i can take some time out for myself to knit, or drink tea, visit and catch up with friends, go to yoga or whatever i damn well please really!

*get productive in the garden - it's been a long time in between green love posts and a lot has changed, but not much new has gone into the garden. i've cleared space as each crop finished up, but getting things into those spaces and growing hasn't happened too much... i'm trying not to feel guilty as it should be the most productive time of the year in the garden, but i had other, more pressing priorities in spring!
now that ag is getting a wee bit bigger, i'm finding myself with snippets of time to get out there and get things happening, sometimes even with him! it's nice to set him up next to me and have him chat away while i pull weeds or plant out seeds.
some solid seasonal plans will help with knowing what needs to be done when i get those little opportunities i think.

*get back on the meal planning bandwagon - purse strings need to be tightened this year, plus it'll help keen us healthier and use up what we've got growing in our patch! win/win/win!

*volunteer - maybe at an op-shop? or something in this new community we're a part of. definitely feeling the need to put down some roots here!

*blog weekly - this one is definitely inspired by kate, i'm loving reading her little snippets ever friday and really once a week is enough to tell the stories i want to tell, share the things i want to share, as well as being a reasonable amount of time to commit to blogging each week. we'll see how we go!

what are your plans for this brand new year?

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

12 weeks.

view at kilcunda beach while breastfeeding the little man putting up some decorations with my little helper fresh baby calf, with it's mumma

i'm kind of at a loss how it's only been 6 weeks since my last post. and again, completely surprised. so much has changed, but 6 weeks seems like a lifetime!

little ag is coming along in leaps and bounds, growing and changing before our very eyes and gaining a little more personality every day. his smiles never fail to absolutely warm my heart with joy!

in saying that, it's been a tough ol' 6 weeks for me personally. i feel like the first 6 weeks, i got through on adrenalin alone... there wasn't too much sleeping on my part, and i somehow managed to feel like i could still get all of the things done. in hindsight, this was a wee bit silly... i needed to be resting my poor weary body, it had been through the wars and needed a whole lot of go-slow time!

naturally, when the 6 week mark came and went and i hadn't bounced back to my usual pre-baby self, physically or mentally, i was a little bit crushed.
i just wanted to feel back to normal, well as normal as i was going to get, the new normal, like me before, but with a baby in tow now.
i somehow thought i would be done all of the physical healing by then, but my body had other plans. now at 12 weeks, i'm finally feeling a bit better physically, small amounts of slow exercise, walking, yoga and those all important pelvic floor exercises.

the mental stuff is an ongoing process though, that's for sure. feeling physically broken, and being completely unsure of my physical capabilities was weighing on me heavily for a while. not getting enough rest and feeling completely and utterly exhausted was too. and both plagued me with indecision, my brain too fried to make particularly rational decisions about a single thing.
the baby is sleeping, what would you like to do? blank. the baby is crying, how are you going to soothe him? blank.

being a person who was used to running at peak efficiency, i was completely lost! which in turn had me questioning who even am i anymore? who was i before? what is important to me? what makes me happy?
yep, completely lost.

i had a few really terrible days, keeping all these things in, letting worry run my days, before i fell apart and lost my shit. since then, i've realised there's no point keeping stuff in, so i talk about it... with bb, with my mum, with bb's mum, with the maternal child health nurse and with a counsellor too.

this time (and life in general) goes way too fast, with way too many precious moments you don't want to miss, to be feeling the way i was.

it's going to continue to be an ongoing balancing act, striking the compromise between soaking up all of the time with ag i possibly can, spending time doing the things that are important to me, that make me feel like myself, and getting the things done that i know should be done...

oh and let's not start on the minefield that is advice... so many conflicting opinions about every possible aspect of raising a baby, and living life in general! for now, we'll keep muddling through, picking and choosing what will work for us, and letting the rest flow off our backs. phew!

hopefully i'll be back with a few more posts in the coming weeks... i've got things i want to share, and tapping out stories and posting them here is something that is important to me so if i've got the time, i'll be back!

Monday, October 31, 2016

6 weeks.

wee little fingers, in his stripy wondersuit

over the years, i've understood the concept of the days are long but the weeks are short... but not to quite the extent i do now.

the past 6 weeks have absolutely flown. my babe is no longer considered a newborn and that thought brings tears to my eyes.

but holy moly have there been some tough moments.
i've come to the realization though, that the tough moments haven't been caused by the little guy, but us grown-ups questioning everything we do! why is he crying? why isn't he sleeping? why isn't he feeding?
he's a baby! he doesn't care what time he last fed, or when he last slept. if he's hungry, he wants to eat, if he's tired, he'll sleep.
and sometimes, he'll just want a hug. and no matter what needs doing, what outstanding jobs are on the to-do list, i'll oblige. because he'll never be this little again.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

slow fashion october - long-worn maintenance.

as i mentioned tuesday, i had a bit more to write on the subject of "long-worn" the second prompt for slow fashion october... so without further ado, here it is!

a big part of what keeps my wardrobe going is looking after, and giving love to the garments i own, whether they be beautiful handmade garments, or fast fashion ones i've foolishly indulged in over the years. either way, they're both incredibly important as keeping garments out of landfill is a high priority of mine.

the first step in looking after them, is obviously washing them appropriately.
since seriously getting back into knitting, i’ve been a big advocate for hand washing handknits, and i’ve always separated my light coloured clothes, from my darker coloured ones when putting them through the machine… though since reading this post by elle, i'll be taking a little more care with how and how often i wash things in the machine.

fabric shaving has become quite a fun pastime of mine...

using the fabric shaver on bb's blue jumperone purple sock after fabric shaving, and one before. the difference is very visible!

there's no quicker and better way to bring a hand knitted garment back to it's former glory than with a quick fabric shave!
come to think of it, it's a pretty great way to freshen up some of those nylon-filled, fast fashion pieces too. there are more than a few cheap and cheerful cardigans and dresses that i've breathed a bit more life into with a quick fabric shave!

my third solution for keeping everything functional is mending.

grey cardigan with several skeins of embroidery floss and an embroidery hoop

i've posted here before about mending, with this post being a particularly successful to-do list for me, and this one, being not quite as successful... i never quite managed to get everything fixed 100%. those jean pockets of bb's, they have all new holes despite my repair attempts, and the cardigan i talked about? well it's one of my slow fashion october goals and is pictured above.
i never actually stated any goals in my first post, but they've been percolating in my head a little he he. a dottieangel inspired, woolly tattoo bit of visible mending is what awaits this.
it will definitely be a slow old fix, but hopefully i can pull it off and it will breathe a whole new bit of life into this sad looking cardigan!

wish me luck!

what are your thoughts on maintaining your wardrobe? are you a mender?